PLANNING FOR FUN AT THE WEDDING CELEBRATION by Bonnie J. Bracken I couldn't believe I was having so much fun! Here I was, the mother of the bride, and I was dancing my shoes off! Gone was the stereotypical mother, wringing her hands, politely whispering to the guests in a hushed voice, glancing furtively at the refreshment table and fearing the worst. Why is it some weddings are so enjoyable? What ingredients do you stir into the pot to make a wedding that is elegant, successful, and also fun? Having been a "wedding watcher" I have observed a few very successful and fun occasions. All seem to possess similar characteristics. Early in the planning, our daughter determined that her wedding would be more than a stiff greeting line and she planned a dance as part of the reception festivities. She found a DJ who would play the type of music she and her groom liked, and who was also experienced with wedding dances. Together they planned the tunes and the fun, including directing the dance of the bride with her father, the groom with his mother, and the first dance of the bride and groom as husband and wife. The dance was a huge success. Even the older folks danced, grandparents swaying around the dance floor. The mood was festive and upbeat and my daughter realized her dream of having a fabulous celebration party. The wedding luncheon or rehearsal dinner can also be a catalyst for injecting fun into the wedding celebration. Many families plan a program to be presented to close family and friends who attend the luncheon. The luncheon started the fun for our other daughter's wedding. The groom's family had made a scrumptious lunch, and both their family and ours were happy to join in. During the meal, someone would start striking their glass with a spoon, which would signal for the bride and groom to kiss. If they didn't kiss fast enough, everyone joined in until the room was ringing with the tinkling of spoons on glass. The wedding couple would stand up and kiss which would bring on a round of applause and the celebration would continue - until someone else would strike their glass with a spoon. The luncheon is an opportunity for giving thanks to all who have helped get the bride and groom from the children they once were to the young adults they have now become. The toast by the best man or by any person present can be laden with poignant meaning or chuck full of jokes. Either way, emotion becomes a part of the day, helping to lift the occasion above the ordinary. At one wedding, the bride had flowers delivered to both her parents as a surprise during the luncheon. Happy tears streamed down the mother's face, and the father was speechless. Everyone present was touched by this simple but thoughtful gesture, and the tone of the wedding was set. If the gathering is small, there may be time for each person in attendance to give a toast, or give words of advice to the wedding couple. This happens often at weddings and is usually instigated by one of the parents. A wedding I attended in Alamo, Nevada over the Christmas Holidays was blessed with one such speech. The father of the groom stood during the elaborate sit-down dinner to express his love of his son and his happiness at the son's choice of a bride. The new family was welcomed into theirs, and before that father could sit down, the father of the bride stood to express his approval of the match as well. Other words of approval and love were shared, bringing tears of joy and pride to the eyes of the mothers of the bride and groom. Acknowledgment of special aunts, uncles, teachers, etc. will bring an air of gratitude to the occasion, and a feeling of love and acceptance, setting a tone of happiness for the occasion. When we attend a wedding, we usually run into old friends we haven't seen in ages. Just having an occasion to visit with them can be the best reason to attend. Especially in Southern Utah where the communities are small and most of us have many friends and acquaintances, making time for visiting might be the most important part of the reception. The bride and groom can plan some romantic gestures for their special event. At a wedding I attended in Kanab, the groom had a dozen red roses delivered to the bride just before the reception was to begin. This, in addition to the bridal bouquet spoke his love and devotion to her and sparked the romance of the evening. One groom at Greene Gate Village picked up his bride in full wedding attire and headed for the swimming pool. I wouldn't recommend this for everyone, but his bride loved it and the last I saw them they were still abuzz with the excitement it stirred. Bringing about the extraordinary, planning the event well, and also planning for fun, all set the stage for an enjoyable event. Keeping a sense of humor, an attitude of gratitude, love and acceptance will help relieve stress on a stressful day. One thing for sure, no matter how much help you employ, no matter how simple you try to keep it, a wedding is no ordinary event. It can be fraught with stress, and be a lot of work. But just as sure, the rewards of planning and pulling off a wonderful celebration of the joining of two people is certainly worth it. SOUTHERN UTAH WEDDINGS by Bonnie J. Bracken From short engagements to photo card invitations, Southern Utah weddings are somewhat different from the weddings touted in the wedding "how to" books. Unlike our cousins on the East Coast, our weddings are a blessedly uncomplicated affair. Take short engagements for example. Weddings here are planned and executed much the same as in other parts of the country, but the relatively short two to four month engagement ensures that the preparation time is a somewhat painless period of time. Not entirely without discomfort, but with much less time to"fuss and stew" over the details. In fact, most Utah women could pull off a wedding in six weeks! I have not seen any concrete evidence, but I dare say that weddings here operate on a smaller budget than elsewhere, and usually include inviting, entertaining, and feeding many more guests than in other parts of the country. Of course "feeding" the guests is not a five course meal. It is usually just punch and cake. However, I have observed guests trying to attend several weddings in one night complain that the punch and cake is just too much! On the other hand, there are many weddings that have a wonderful array of food, much of it prepared by the bride's relatives or friends. One of the unique details utilized with Southern Utah weddings is the photo invitation. While on the other side of the country, brides are choosing elaborately embossed and embellished paper for the invitation, the brides in Utah quite often choose the photograph to use as the main part of the invitation, many of the brides choosing the economical photo cards. The strong L.D.S. influence brings with it a vast array of friends and acquaintances and with at least 500 to 1000 invitations to buy, the photo card becomes the invitation of choice. It insures a photo of the spouse-to-be, and when compared to paying for an elaborate invitation and an insert photo, it is actually affordable. Not everyone in Southern Utah is using this type invitation, but with the fantastic surroundings we have here, it can be a very striking and beautiful way to go. Until recent years, decorating the wedding and reception hall was something done by the families involved. This tradition is an art and in the smaller communities still thrives. The little hamlet of Enterprise, Utah has some of the most beautifully decorated weddings I have seen. The women of this city have a vast store of beautiful hand made decorations that they must revitalize and recycle. Antiques and collectibles usually adorn the vast reception hall and transform the sometimes basketball court into a sparkling wedding wonderland. Tole painted centerpieces tell the story of the bride's interests from horses to flowers to swimming gold fish. Instead of using a professional decorator, the women of the town join together to make the wedding lushly decorated to match the occasion. Gifts, and how they are given is somewhat different in Southern Utah as well. With all the invitations going out, you can only imagine how many weddings a person might be invited to. This is where the gift registry comes in to play. Instead of going to the merchant and choosing a gift from the ones chosen by the bride and groom, the invited person merely calls the registry merchant and has a dollar amount applied to whatever gift is sent. The giver has helped give a nice gift and the wedding couple receive what they have chosen. It works! I suppose there is a fair amount of elopements everywhere, but with my part as a wedding photographer I occasionally become privy to some of those. I recently booked a wedding for a wonderful couple, both being married for the second time. They were thrilled with having found one another and were planning a wedding to take place in just six weeks. That was a bit of a rush even for Southern Utah, but we were working on getting the invitation photo taken and the invitations ordered and back in time to accommodate the swift approach of their chosen date. Over the Christmas holidays we lost track of them, until the bride called the first week of January anxious to order some of the engagement portraits and to cancel the wedding date. To wait even a short six weeks proved too much for them. The wedding had taken place suddenly over the holiday. I was simply thrilled for them. It was fun to see them put their lives together. Perhaps the most distinct aspect of weddings in Southern Utah is the use of our fabulous surroundings. Places like Tuachan, Snow Canyon, Pine Valley, and Zion have set the stage for many an usual wedding. I was called upon to participate in a wedding at Zion National Park joining a bride from Florida and a Groom who was living in Hong Cong. What an unusual gathering and what a magnificent backdrop. Family members and friends had traveled from all over the world, and most of them planned to stay several days. The Wedding took place on the grass of the Zion Lodge, just under a massive tree. As rain threatened, the bride and her brother strode the 100 yards or so from the Lodge to the tree. A swirl of mist hung over the rising cliffs, and there were no words for the grandeur of the simple yet magnificent ceremony. Tuachan has become a sought after wedding location, and provides a grand backdrop for the occasion. Sitting in the shade of the patio, the guests can enjoy the vistas surrounding them. The loveliest of weddings at Tuachan took place in front of the waterfall at the entrance. The bride had timed the wedding to begin just as the shadow of the mountain crept over and provided shade for her guests. The rush of the water in the background sang like a giant chorus. The bride was beautiful, contrasting with the green green grass and the red rock. The groom, silhouetted in black against the rising cliffs, seemed larger that life. The rugged terrain, by contrast, painted the event an even deeper shade of elegant. The awesome backdrop left every guest filled for having come. A western theme runs a common thread throughout Southern Utah weddings, especially in the smaller communities such as Mesquite, Gunlock and Ivins. The bride, dressed in a white fringed western frock descended the pine pole staircase at a home in Dammeron Valley. A cake, five layers high, with six surrounding cakes in the shape of horseshoes decked the hall of a Mesquite wedding. Hay bales and pole fences become the backdrop for a huge affair in Mesquite, complete with dancing, program, and "the money dance". Centerpieces made from hand painted ceramic cowboy boots and hats adorn the tables at an Enterprise wedding. A wedding at home, while not solely indigenous to Southern Utah, is so easy in Utah's Dixie due to our blue skies and sunshine. In twenty years of taking photos at weddings, I have not been rained out once. However, the heat of summer can create some challenges, and should be considered before planning an outdoor summer wedding. Many of the most memorable weddings I have witnessed have been at someone's home, either pool side, or beside a blooming garden. I recently attended a pool side reception of a beautiful Bloomington bride. The grounds were lush and well groomed. The cake was arranged beneath a blossoming tree. The pool sparkled blue and silver and became the backdrop for the receiving line. Large bouquets of flowers framed the sparkling brook that splashed into the hot tub and on to the pool. A lush bouquet floated about on the sparkling water and it dipped and swayed to the music. The bride beamed huge smiles at everyone, especially the groom. And since the wedding was at home, all the amenities of home were within a few steps of the bridal party. Whether at home, on the vermilion rocks, at the edge of a cliff, under the pines at Pine Valley Mountain, or in the deep ravines of Zion National Park, weddings are just a bit off the ordinary in Southern Utah. Ask any bride.